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  • I'll do algebra, I'll do trig and I'll even do statistics. But graphing is where I draw the line.
    Peace,
    Baron Wilhelm Gustav von Schmidt III
    (But you can call me Joe)

    Comment


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      • For these guys, I say, "It's the circle of life." It also serves them right!
        At least three poachers who broke into a rhinoceros reserve met a gruesome fate when they were mauled to death by a pride of lions. The hunters were torn to shreds by the big cats at the Sibuya Game Reserve South Africa, where staffers discovered bloodied body parts, including a head and limbs.
        Peace,
        Baron Wilhelm Gustav von Schmidt III
        (But you can call me Joe)

        Comment


        • If a parsley farmer is sued, would they garnish his wages?
          Peace,
          Baron Wilhelm Gustav von Schmidt III
          (But you can call me Joe)

          Comment


          • Lost my watch at a party once. I saw a guy stepping on it while sexually harassing a girl. I walked up to the dude and punched him in the nose. No one does that to a girl, not on my watch.
            Peace,
            Baron Wilhelm Gustav von Schmidt III
            (But you can call me Joe)

            Comment


            • I loved when my dad put me inside a tire and rolled it down a hill. Man, those were goodyears.
              Peace,
              Baron Wilhelm Gustav von Schmidt III
              (But you can call me Joe)

              Comment


              • Some people say I'm addicted to somersaults, but that's just how I roll.
                Peace,
                Baron Wilhelm Gustav von Schmidt III
                (But you can call me Joe)

                Comment


                • I could have been a monk, but I missed my chants.
                  Peace,
                  Baron Wilhelm Gustav von Schmidt III
                  (But you can call me Joe)

                  Comment


                  • Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher? He couldn't control his pupils.
                    Peace,
                    Baron Wilhelm Gustav von Schmidt III
                    (But you can call me Joe)

                    Comment


                    • I'm so grateful that somebody invented window blinds. Otherwise it would be curtains for all of us.
                      Peace,
                      Baron Wilhelm Gustav von Schmidt III
                      (But you can call me Joe)

                      Comment


                      • Classic vinyl albums are selling for record prices.
                        Peace,
                        Baron Wilhelm Gustav von Schmidt III
                        (But you can call me Joe)

                        Comment


                        • They say that a dog can retrieve a ball from a mile away. That seems a bit far fetched to me.
                          Peace,
                          Baron Wilhelm Gustav von Schmidt III
                          (But you can call me Joe)

                          Comment


                          • I went shopping for cherries and microphones. Bought a bing, bought a boom.
                            Peace,
                            Baron Wilhelm Gustav von Schmidt III
                            (But you can call me Joe)

                            Comment


                            • I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specific.
                              Peace,
                              Baron Wilhelm Gustav von Schmidt III
                              (But you can call me Joe)

                              Comment


                              • You can't just get cremated. You have to urn it.
                                Peace,
                                Baron Wilhelm Gustav von Schmidt III
                                (But you can call me Joe)

                                Comment


                                • My wife tells me I'm a skeptic, but I don't believe a word she says.
                                  Peace,
                                  Baron Wilhelm Gustav von Schmidt III
                                  (But you can call me Joe)

                                  Comment


                                  • Back in his day, the ladies considered Samuel Morse to be a dashing young man.
                                    Peace,
                                    Baron Wilhelm Gustav von Schmidt III
                                    (But you can call me Joe)

                                    Comment


                                    • If a dog see a police dog, does he think, "Oh no, it's the cops?"
                                      Peace,
                                      Baron Wilhelm Gustav von Schmidt III
                                      (But you can call me Joe)

                                      Comment


                                      • Let's eat kids. Let's eat, kids. Use a comma. It saves lives.
                                        Peace,
                                        Baron Wilhelm Gustav von Schmidt III
                                        (But you can call me Joe)

                                        Comment


                                        • Shot my 1st turkey today. Scared the hell out of everyone in the frozen food section.
                                          Peace,
                                          Baron Wilhelm Gustav von Schmidt III
                                          (But you can call me Joe)

                                          Comment

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