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  • I'm really annoyed that I failed my magicians exam. Too many trick questions.
    Peace,
    Baron Wilhelm Gustav von Schmidt III
    (But you can call me Joe)

    Comment


    • Senior Sex

      The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you."

      Yes, she says, "I remember it well."
      OK, he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?"
      "Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!"
      A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.
      The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.
      The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.
      After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.
      So, as the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?"
      Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply,
      "Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."

      Comment


      • eBay is so pointless…



        I tried to search up lighters and all they had was 18,063 matches.

        Comment


        • Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.
          Peace,
          Baron Wilhelm Gustav von Schmidt III
          (But you can call me Joe)

          Comment


          • No matter how far you push the envelope, it's still stationary.
            Peace,
            Baron Wilhelm Gustav von Schmidt III
            (But you can call me Joe)

            Comment


            • When women get to a certain age, they start accumulating cats. This is known as the many paws.
              Peace,
              Baron Wilhelm Gustav von Schmidt III
              (But you can call me Joe)

              Comment


              • Will glass coffins become a success? Remains to be seen.
                Peace,
                Baron Wilhelm Gustav von Schmidt III
                (But you can call me Joe)

                Comment


                • If a bearded man makes vases, is he a hairy potter?
                  Peace,
                  Baron Wilhelm Gustav von Schmidt III
                  (But you can call me Joe)

                  Comment


                  • I got expelled from mime school. It must have been something I said.
                    Peace,
                    Baron Wilhelm Gustav von Schmidt III
                    (But you can call me Joe)

                    Comment


                    • I'm a firm believer in corporations.
                      Peace,
                      Baron Wilhelm Gustav von Schmidt III
                      (But you can call me Joe)

                      Comment


                      • My 1st job was working in an orange juice factory but I got canned. Couldn't concentrate.
                        Peace,
                        Baron Wilhelm Gustav von Schmidt III
                        (But you can call me Joe)

                        Comment


                        • People are making apocalypse jokes like there's no tomorrow.
                          Peace,
                          Baron Wilhelm Gustav von Schmidt III
                          (But you can call me Joe)

                          Comment


                          • The local battery shop just closed. It was said that they were over charging.
                            Peace,
                            Baron Wilhelm Gustav von Schmidt III
                            (But you can call me Joe)

                            Comment


                            • A boomerang gets tossed out of a bar. A boomerang walks into a bar.
                              Peace,
                              Baron Wilhelm Gustav von Schmidt III
                              (But you can call me Joe)

                              Comment


                              • I tried to grab fog, but I mist.
                                Peace,
                                Baron Wilhelm Gustav von Schmidt III
                                (But you can call me Joe)

                                Comment


                                • I told a chemistry joke, there was no reaction.
                                  Peace,
                                  Baron Wilhelm Gustav von Schmidt III
                                  (But you can call me Joe)

                                  Comment


                                  • My teacher threw sodium chloride at me. That's a salt.
                                    Peace,
                                    Baron Wilhelm Gustav von Schmidt III
                                    (But you can call me Joe)

                                    Comment


                                    • Playing tennis by yourself is just self-serving.
                                      Peace,
                                      Baron Wilhelm Gustav von Schmidt III
                                      (But you can call me Joe)

                                      Comment


                                      • I'm a perfectionist with procrastinator complex. Some day I'm going to be awesome.
                                        Peace,
                                        Baron Wilhelm Gustav von Schmidt III
                                        (But you can call me Joe)

                                        Comment


                                        • Geology rocks! But Geography is where it's at.
                                          Peace,
                                          Baron Wilhelm Gustav von Schmidt III
                                          (But you can call me Joe)

                                          Comment

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